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Post by Lily J. Evans on Oct 30, 2018 1:37:29 GMT
Friends. That was the best way that she could describe Marlene. The two girls had always been close. They could always depend on one another. She was not exactly sure what drew the two girls together but they'd always seemed to be on the same page. There were times when the two didn't exactly see eye to eye but they'd always managed to work through it.
Taking a deep breath the girl walked from the Gryffindor common room, down the many flights of stairs down to the grounds. Her mind was racing, as fast as her heart was. What was once a little peace of heaven no longer was. Now she was in a world that although she loved, created many different scenarios, some good and some not so good.
She soon found herself near the black lake. The black lake was one of the places where she had always found a sense of self. A sense of peace. There was no reason why things couldn't be as they were. The fifteen year old knew just what she was going to do and how far she was willing to go. She had a letter in her hand, one that came from her mother. A letter indicating heartbreak as well. A sigh escaped her lips, as she read the letter. Suddenly she heard footsteps. A smile escaped her lips as she heard those footsteps. Only one would know where to find her. Or at least, look for her here. It was aside from the library one of her favorite places in the world. Faith in knowing that all would be alright. Looking up at the figure whom soon graced her presence, a grin formed upon her face. "Marlene? What's going on?" The fifteen year old grinned. She figured Marlene most likely would be avoiding Sirius and the others as much as she often found herself doing. The two girls were in fact kindred spirits.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2018 2:25:34 GMT
Marlene was having a pretty good day so far. Except for a foreboding feeling in her stomach. It was actually a gut feeling that something wasn’t right. She knew that things were fine here at school, but what about at home. She hadn’t heard from her mom nor her brother since the first Saturday of term. Any letters that she had sent, Marlene had gotten them all back, undelivered, and the same went for the letters that her little sister sent. But those came to her instead. Something was definitely amiss, at home and she was worried.
Because of that Marlene had been looking for one of her closet’s friends, the one who could lift her spirits and give her hope, and that was no one other than Lily. Marlene had checked their dorm and the library but Lily was nowhere to be found. But Marlene knew of one of the few places that Lily would go, and a place that she went herself sometimes. Marlene quickly exited the castle and made her way down to the lake.
It did not take her long to spot Lily, what with her vibrant red hair. As she got closer Lily had turned and looked up at her. Marlene smiled at her friend. “Hey Lily. I was actually looking for you. I got this feeling that I needed to find you. And so here I am.” Not the whole truth, but not a lie either. It was one of those things where she didn’t want to be the one to talk about her problems first. By this point she was now next to Lily, looking out over the lake.
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Post by Lily J. Evans on Nov 2, 2018 2:24:07 GMT
It was an incredible day. It was beautiful outside. Sitting there with a book on her lap, she was ready for anything. Her heart and mind were on two separate pages. On the one hand, she knew how Severus was, what his friends thought and what they stood for. It had distanced their friendship. But today she was off on her own. Everyone else seemed to be off doing their own thing too. And she didn't mind that. It was always a good time sitting by the lake, reading a good book.She was deep in thought, thinking of the last letter that her mother and father each had sent. Tuney was getting closer and closer to the guy she was seeing, a guy by the name of Vernon.
Now she didn't know what to think about that. That was the least of my problems. No, now I was back at Hogwarts and although life here was somewhat normal, I never knew what to expect. Especially with Mr. Potter and company. Those four were enough to make a girl's head spin and not necessarily in the best possible way. So to put it simply, it was a chaotic couple months. She figured coming out to the lake, she'd get away from Mr. Potter and his crew even for a little while.
As she continued to read her book, she had hoped for some sort of companionship. The only one she hadn't seen in a while was Marlene, or Marls as she liked to call her. The two girls had been good friends since start of term in their first year. She couldn't help but smile when she had seen Marls come her way. "Hey, Marls. You were looking for me? Oh? Well I came out here to read. Been a long couple days. Missing home, you know? I haven't heard much from my big sister...though Mum says she's fine. I'd just like to hear from her myself, you know? But what about you? I know you've been trying to reach home." She asked, hoping not to pry, but she was quite perceptive.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2018 20:15:10 GMT
“Yes, I was.” She had no idea why but here she was. Not that she minded that is. “What book are you reading this time?” Marlene was curious, because her friend tended to read some rather interesting books. Many said that Lily should have been in Ravenclaw, but Marlene disagreed as she had seen her friend be the epitome of a true Gryffindor time and time again. “I completely understand.” She really did, because she was missing home as well. And she hoped that everything was alright.
“To be honest it hasn’t been easy. I mean, I’ve heard from my mum and brother the day after school started but after that I haven’t heard a single thing from them and neither has my little sister.” She explained and found it easy and a little bit of a relief at finally having someone to talk to about this. “It isn’t easy, especially since all of my letters have been returned to me by the same owl that I sent them with, and the most difficult part is that I get the ones that my sister has sent home, as well.” She really had no idea why she was saying all this, as this wasn’t what she had come down here for in the first place.
“I just get this feeling that something has happened to them and I haven’t heard a single thing about them from anyone. I almost fear the worst, and that stupid boggart during Defense Against the Dark Arts, didn’t help matters at all.” It had showed her the thing that she had feared the most, and was the reason why she disliked their current professor for that class.
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Post by Lily J. Evans on Nov 6, 2018 20:52:07 GMT
Everything that happens, happens for a reason. It was a fact she had always believed ever since she was a small child. Giving her friend a small smile, she worried for her. She tried not to let it show, but it was hard. Everyone knew that she was very loyal when it came to her friendships. She wouldn't turn her back on anyone. She loved most of those in her life and couldn't imagine her life without them in it. "Oh one of my mother's favorites. She gave it to me before the start of term. It's about a woman whom has this romance with a childhood love. A war breaks out, he goes to protect his home--and her. She didn't want him to go but he refused to be left behind. He goes missing and is presumed dead. Then this man shows up, he looks almost like her old friend so he seduces her. He forces her into a bonded union. It was only a couple years after that the man she originally loved got out of capture. Went to find her only to find out she was married. Unfortunately as the two meet, her new husband uses a bow and arrow and he appears to die. Because her husband says if he can't have her with him, no one can." It was a dark tale but it all had a wondrous end. "Just when he thinks he's won, the man she loves, appears dead only at the last moment to come out victorious." A smile came across her features.
Reading books was exactly what she opted to do in her spare time. She loved her life, and loved reading. Though the Sorting Hat had once said that she would be great in Ravenclaw, but she couldn't even imagine not being in Gryffindor. She wasn't afraid to battle, to stand up for what was right, not just what was easy. "It's been some time since I've gotten a letter though. But I have faith in them." A sigh escaped her lips as she listened to her friend's worry. "Oh, that is heartbreaking. You mean you haven't heard from anyone since term began? Have you talked to anyone else about this? You know like Professor Dumbledore or Professor McGonagall? Maybe one of them could send someone to check on your family? Because it sounds to me either they went into Hiding or something. Although if they had you'd think they'd at least have sent word to you before hand. Hopefully it's nothing, and the owl just got lost." She worried now, more so for Marlene than for herself.
She wasn't too keen on the Boggarts during the Defense against the Dark Arts class any more than Marlene was. After all, they showed what one feared the most. The professor was not exactly remotely one of her favorites. She didn't want to break the rules, but she also knew that if it were her own family that she hadn't heard from, she'd have done anything and everything to know that they were safe. "You know me, I'm not one to break the rules, but....in this case I wouldn't be opposed to it. Family comes first. I mean I know we're not supposed to use magic outside Hogwarts, but...we may need to come up with an option. Perhaps use Floo Powder, and go see them? You aren't alone, and I'd go with you." It was something she hesitated on even suggesting it but, she wanted Marlene to know she wasn't alone.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2018 21:05:08 GMT
The book sounded very interesting. “Mind if I borrow that when you’ve finished reading it? It does sound rather interesting.” Marlene liked to read, maybe not as much as her friend here but at the same time she did enjoy reading. It was one of the many things that they had in common and had brought them together.
“I’ve talked to McGonagall, and she said she would inform the headmaster, but I feel that nothing is being done about it. Do you know of anyone that would have the connections to check for me? And I doubt the owl got lost as it is the family owl, and he never gets lost. So, I can only think the worst has happened to them.” Marlene said while a tear slid down her cheek as she said that last bit. She really didn’t want it to be true but she just had that feeling that something was terribly wrong and at the moment there was nothing that she could do about it.
“You would do that for me? But where would we even get floor powder?” They could order it or steal it of course but she didn’t want to go that far, just in case things were fine at home, maybe she was worrying for nothing. “I appreciate the offer Lily, but I think we should try and get someone to check even if it is a quick thing or not. But I’ll definitely keep your offer in mind, since I don’t really trust too many people here besides you and Sirius. And some of our other friends. Maybe they might have an idea on what I can do. I just want to know that everything is okay there you know. What with how things are going out there. It is just difficult is all.” It was difficult to sit by and only be able to do so little but Marlene also didn’t want her sister to be left alone here at the school if anything were to happen to her.
“So how are things going at home?” She knew it was a touchy subject but she felt that she had to at least ask.
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Post by Lily J. Evans on Nov 8, 2018 5:29:30 GMT
She enjoyed reading, it was perhaps one of her favorite past-times. "Sure. I'm almost done with it." She replied as she looked towards her friend. It was true that she was a bit more of an avid reader than some of her friends, Marlene included. But given the two girls were close, it was easy to share common interests in books. It had truthfully brought them together more or less. Taking a deep breath. "Talking to McGonagall is what you should do. Glad that you were able to reach out to her. Maybe she hasn't had a chance to talk to the Headmaster. I wish I knew of anyone that could check on them. Guess we could ask Hagrid, you know the gateskeeper. I don't know if he'd be willing to help. He's a friend and I'm sure he wouldn't mind. And if he can't maybe he'd be able to talk to Professor Dumbledore. If I have to ask him myself I will. I don't mind." She nodded when her friend said that the owl had gotten lost. "I know, I was hoping that was the case though. Easier to believe that the owl got lost than to think of the other options." She held her emotions in though it was tearing her up to see her friend down.
"Yes, of course. I'd do anything for a friend. You're practically family, Marls." She told her friend. It was complicated. She understood what would be required if they did something like this themselves. "Well I'm sure we could find something in Diagon Alley." Though she wasn't a hundred percent sure. Granted she didn't want to think of stealing such a thing, but she was willing to do anything for family. "Like I said, I'm willing to do so if we can't find anyone to go check. I honestly don't trust too many myself. Maybe we can get the entire group of us, to come up with something. I understand full well the need to know that everything is okay."
A sigh escaped her lips as she tried not to let the emotions get to her. Thinking of home, it was difficult. She didn't want to delve into all of it, but she also didn't want to not think of it either. "I know what it's like, you know, wanting to know what's going on. I'm not sure, at home. Last letter my mom sent, it seemed like things were bad. Very bad. My parents, before I turned eleven rarely ever raised their voices to one another. Mom was always happy and father...was difficult. Don't get me wrong I love my parents, but it's like they aren't handling things well. Finances are difficult. To pay all the bills and to put food on the table. Then my sister's coming and going at all hours of the night. I don't know. I just I worry. I'm hated by my big sister. She won't even look at me let alone talk to me. We were once so close, kind of like Sirius and Potter. Always together, inseparable. But because I had magic and she didn't...she took that as a betrayal. And here we are. I'm on one side of the world and she's on the other. I hate it. Part of me has considered not even going home anymore because I don't want to make things more difficult than they already are. I want my parents and my sister to be happy, and if my being a little more distant is what I need to do, then I'll do it. I'll just--ensure they're okay. The best way I know how." It was a kind of a touchy subject.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2018 20:02:12 GMT
Marlene gave her friend a smile when she was told that she could borrow it after Lily was done with it. “Thanks.” It was a good pass time of hers, and it would help keep her from worrying about home so much. “I appreciate the offer, but I’ve already asked and I know Hagrid means well. But he isn’t allowed to use magic, and it would be better if someone else went that was well trained or at least knew what they were doing. But like you said if it comes down to it I’ll just go myself, rules be damned.” She said the last bit in a determined voice. And she didn’t need her friend asking on her behalf if her family was safe. She really did appreciate Lily’s offer but she didn’t want to be a bother for her friend.
Marlene listened intently as Lily talked about her own family. “I think you need to sit down and talk with them all, and explain things to them. And maybe you can all figure out what to do, and if it comes down to it and as a last resort stop going home. If you think that is what is best for you and your family.” She was trying to offer up a way for Lily to figure things out. It might work it might not, but at least her friend would be doing everything in her power to make things right. “If need be you can always come stay with me and my family. Provided everything is alright at home.” She offered her a place to stay if Lily was no longer welcome at her home.
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Post by Lily J. Evans on Nov 22, 2018 5:47:59 GMT
She loved her friends. She'd do anything for them. "You're welcome." She smiled as she appreciated everything that this friendship was. They always could talk to each other about anything. About studies, guys, home, everything. Marlene was an amazing woman and she was grateful that Marlene was in her life. "You'd be surprised what you can do with some of your own. Hagrid may not have a wand anymore, since is broken, but he still has that umbrella. If anyone can do anything he could. Well there's several things that you can or cannot do. You can keep waiting or do nothing. I for one, if it were me, I'd be more than willing to break any rules. I'd also be willing to go with you. Because if there's one thing I've learned, you have to make a stand. And to do things that are right, even if they aren't easy. Though it's no bother, to be honest. If you can't honestly be willing to do something like that, for your friends, then what's the point?"
She shook her head, thinking of home. Of her sister, and her parents. The idea of severing ties, seemed a bit harsh. Though, in all honesty it was something she herself had to think about. "I worry. I can't help it. I understand that what I have to do, isn't going to go over well. I've thought about it a lot since the start of term. I hate to be a burden. And I know that I'm compromising myself--my relationship with my parents and my sister but it's what I have to do, for their sake, for their--their safety. I don't know what lays ahead Marlene, but I do know that I can't be the reason they can't get along. This next summer I don't know where I'll be. But going back to Cokesworth, where I'm from may not be ideal. The only thing I'll miss most, is cooking in the kitchen with Mom and working out in the garage with my father. I've already lost Petunia, I can't expect anything to come from her. But from my parents, I still...hope for something. I know my parents wouldn't shut me out, they don't have it in them to do that to either of their children. I'm the one that has distanced herself. Because I've had no choice. My sister sees me as my parents' favorite because I'm not home much and when I'm home--it's like they want to know everything. And suddenly my sister isn't in the spotlight so to speak and I know that upsets her. I appreciate the offer, Marlene. I just, I don't want to put anyone out. Right now our main concern should be finding out what is going on at home...yours especially. I'm surprised you haven't heard from your family. I wonder if someone at the ministry might know if Dumbledore or the other professors can't tell you anything?"
She'd stopped reading of course when Marlene and the conversation had started. Looking out to the lake, she worried. She couldn't help it. "So I've been meaning to ask, I've noticed you and Sirius have gotten a bit closer. Mind telling me what that's all about? You two seeing each other?" She asked as she thought she might change the subject to a lighter subject as she knew how tense things were when one discussed home. At least one thing was for sure she was not in the prospect dating anyone. No one in this school was worth it at the time being. Even though Potter tended to ask a great deal. "I'm just glad that Potter hasn't shown himself. As I'd rather not deal with his incessant pranks and the--antics he pulls. How often he's--tried to get me to go out with him, you know? You'd think that boy would learn to give up after it's been stated so many times that I'm not interested. I don't even know what his ulterior motive is but I know he has one. As he always has one." She smirked a bit. She'd always turn him down, as long as he was acting like an immature prat.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 23, 2018 2:14:38 GMT
She flashed a quick smile as she thought about what could be done on your own with out a wand, and it was true. Muggles didn’t have magic but they had survived without it. And then Hagrid was a good example having his umbrella which she had a sneaking suspicion had part of his old wand in it. But that was a thought for another day. “Alright, you convinced me. I just need to make sure someone will look after my sister while we’re gone. But I think we should wait until the beginning of the month to go check. Just incase I get a letter before then.” She really didn’t want to wait but knew that it would be better to wait and charge head first into the unknown like she knew the boys would.
Marlene couldn’t really sympathize with Lily about her predicament, but in another way their situations were similar. And hot having heard from those that they care about. Or in Lily’s case falling apart at home. “Well the offer is there if you need it. And it will always be.” She would make sure her friends, were taken care of. Especially Lily since they were like sisters. At least that is how she felt about it all. “I’ve tried the Ministry but they just sent a letter telling me to not write there unless it was to someone specific, and only if it was important business. And I haven’t been able to get a moment to speak with the Headmaster as he is always gone. Which is kind of odd now that I think about it. But he is a busy person.” She didn’t want to bother the other professors with her worries, and plus she had talked to McGonagall who, as far as Marlene knew, hadn’t done much or anything to check for her.
She blushed a little bit and looked away from her friend for a moment. And she was grateful for the change of subject. “We have, but I don’t know if he likes me like that.” Ok that sounded lame and she knew it. There was no reason to hide anything from her friend. “I mean he did ask at the end of last year if it would be alright if we could exchange letters over the summer. And we got to know each other quite well through the letters. And I’m glad to see that he is growing up even more and maturing. I’m just glad he isn’t running around pranking people with James anymore.” Those letters had been the best part of her summer, aside from spending time with her family. She could tell that Sirius had changed each time she received a letter from him. Even here in the castle he had found a way to still write her, when they couldn’t talk in person that is.
Marlene couldn’t keep the smile off of her face, as she turned to look at Lily once more. “Even though he hasn’t asked me out yet or anything, but I’m glad that he has chosen to spend more time with me. And whenever I’m with him I feel safe.” Just thinking about it made her feel warm and safe. She knew she was falling hard and fast in love with Sirius, and it was exciting and kind of scary at the same time. Maybe he would ask her out soon. She really hoped that he did. Because right now she knew for a fact that he was the one male that she could trust completely, with anything. And that he would never betray that trust. Call it instinct and a smitten girl, but she knew that he would never betray her.
“I know James is a prat.” She was curious about something and one thing only regarding Lily and James. “So, let’s say he grows up and becomes a responsible and mature man. And then he asked you out. Would you go out with him then?” Marlene asked with smirk on her face, since she knew that James was going about this all wrong, and in fact he did need to grow up and change for the better. And she also wanted to know what Lily would say if that was the case.
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Post by Lily J. Evans on Nov 23, 2018 4:01:46 GMT
She'd lived in a world with magic and a world without it. It was what made her resourceful. She was used to not having magic so the idea of working without it wasn't that difficult to accept. Sure she loved her magic, but knew that those like Hagrid, would find a way to use magic even if it was done without the knowledge of others. "I'm sure Sirius won't mind looking after your sister, you trust him. So do I. He's the only logical choice other than the professors themselves. Fine, if you want to wait until the start of the next month before we go, fine. Doesn't mean I have to like it but I do have to respect your wishes." She knew that Marlene wouldn't be able to quite sympathize with her given the fact that she and her sister were closer than close. Though the only way their cases were similar was the fact both were worried over their families.
"Thank you, Marls. I appreciate it." She would have extended the same offer to Marlene if the situation were reversed. Marlene was close enough to be a sister in her eyes. The sister that she wished she had. Someone that was close and never turned her back on her. But she loved Petunia nevertheless. "Got to love our Ministry. They obviously have no care about what it means to maybe be afraid for the lives of those they love. Professor Dumbledore is always busy. He has been since first year. But I'm sure if he were around he'd be the first to look into it. Marlene, I know that you're worried. I'm worried. Because I know what it's like not knowing. If McGonagall isn't going to help, and if the Ministry won't, then we're going to have to do what we do, regardless."
Taking a deep breath, she knew that Marlene wouldn't like the change of subject yet be grateful for it all the same. "I'm sure there's more to it than that. It's complicated I know. You want to be there for each other. That's where the letters come in. To reach out for an ear that will listen, no matter whom or what it is about. The post, it comes in handy particularly when you feel out of touch with everything--everyone else. He is maturing and I'm grateful to see it. I didn't think that he'd ever grow up. He still hangs around Potter, you and I both know that. And I know Potter is going to do everything he can to try and pull Sirius back into it. Back into the pranks, into what he considers fun. But you and Sirius--even you and I, we each have a bond with Sirius that's quite different. You like Sirius, I know it. I can see it. The way your eyes light up when you talk about him." She answered truthfully. She believed that their bond--Marlene's and Sirius wouldn't change at all.
They were like a bonded pair. "He's a good guy. Sure he is difficult, but what man isn't? He likes you, Marlene. And what's not to like? You're gorgeous, funny. Smart. You've got him wrapped around your finger at the moment. I think he needs you in his life as much as you need him in yours. You can call it a safety net if you'd like but I think it's more than that. You respect each other, care about each other the way any couple would. Even if you're not quite there yet."
She knew Sirius wasn't stupid. She also had her friend's back, so if he did anything like that, he'd be asking for it. "I can't say, to be honest what I'd do if and when that time ever comes. But for now, that option isn't even a probability. Because he hasn't grown up, he's still a childish prat. Something that I don't need or deserve to deal with. I'm not looking to date anyone any time soon, you know that. I don't have time to consider that notion." Darkness could be around the corner. She had to be vigilant, to follow her instincts not just her heart. She didn't love James. She didn't even know if she could say she liked the man. Other than the fact she thought more than once about hexing him into the next blue moon. Right now, it didn't make any sense. Why was she suddenly put in this sort of situation to even discussing this matter more than they already had? It made her worry. "Marlene, honestly, maybe you should go make the first move. Ask him out. You know be proactive. I for one, think you should. If that's what you want, if he's what you're interested in. They say he's a ladies man, and knows what he's doing if you know what I mean." She winked at her best friend and gave the girl a smile. A soft chuckle soon followed. "If you were in my shoes, what would you do? Regarding everything, I mean." She wondered what Marlene thought about it. About dating, about everything that lay ahead.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2018 0:27:11 GMT
Marlene didn’t like it and she now definitely knew that Lily didn’t agree with her. “Sirius… I guess he would be the most logical choice as you said, and to be fair I kind of trust him more than the professors.” The inaction of her professors on this matter alone was something that had Marlene questioning if the professors truly cared or not about the students as a whole or even individually. “I know I just…” She really didn’t have any clue as to what she was going to say, she wanted to go right now, but just rushing into something could be a bad idea and what if it took them forever to figure out what had happened? No, the best option at the moment was to wait here, even though her heart wanted her to go right now.
She blushed a little as Lily mentioned that there was a certain was that her eyes lit up whenever she talked about Sirius, she was smitten with him, and yet she was unsure what to do about it. “You really think he likes me?” Sure, it was a dumb question and one that she knew the answer to already Marlene didn’t expect Lily to answer that since she already had. “I know men are difficult but I know your right about us being what each other needs.” Marlene was glad that she had Lily to talk to about these kinds of things, it made life so much easier and made all the more enjoyable.
“I know you aren’t looking for anyone to date and you say that you don’t have the time. Which I know that bit about time is not necessarily true as you do have quite a bit of free time you just chose to use it differently than others.” Marlene said, knowing full well that this is how Lily was and she wasn’t going to force her friend to do anything, but she felt that Lily deserved someone who would treat her right and not be a prat about it. But she could tell that somewhere, deep inside her friend liked the boy, but wasn’t willing to even entertain the notion that something could happen between those two. “I think if anything does happen just give him a chance, I’m sure he’ll stop bothering you. Maybe begin a tentative friendship but nothing serious. But only if he is willing to change. I think you just need to have a talk with him without anyone else around.”
Marlene listened intently as her friend spoke to her about making the first move, and what not and that Sirius was a supposed lady’s man. But Marlene knew different. Sirius wasn’t anything like that. Sure, he had flirted with several girls, even been on a few dates from what he had told her, but He didn’t want someone that threw themselves at him, due to his rebel attitude and what not. “Really Lily? I know for a fact that he isn’t.” Marlene defended Sirius, of course she knew her friend was having her on but still she would defend him with all she had. Wait did she really just think that?
“Regarding everything else and if I was in your position, I would live my life how I want and not let others decide for me. But that is what I would do, take chances even if it scares the hell out of you. I know I am. Even with the state of the world outside of Hogwarts, I think that we just need to stick together and take chances. Not sure if that makes any sense to you but it does to me.” Marlene was scared sure, but something like possibly dating Sirius was appealing to her and she was sure that it would be a decision that she would never regret. And she would be there for her friends through thick and thin.
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Post by Lily J. Evans on Dec 1, 2018 1:43:39 GMT
It hadn't sat well with her, and she knew her friend well enough to know better. She knew Marlene wanted more than anything to go be with her family, to really know what happened. But it could take days, weeks or maybe even months to know for sure what had really happened. Something they necessarily didn't have. She had a bad feeling about what had occurred but she couldn't voice it until she knew for certain. But out of every one they both were somewhat friends with, Sirius was the only logical individual that could keep Marlene's sister, Victoria, safe.
"You know it's sad that you--or any of us can't trust the professors, something that I never thought I'd ever say, in situations such as this. It's hard to even imagine. Makes you ask questions that you never would think you'd have to ask. I understand, the last thing you'd want to do is just rush in without a plan. Which is why, despite how heartbreaking it is to wait, more so for you than for anyone, to wait, it's the right course of action. Even if it's not so easy to do so." She was being honest. She noticed immediately her friend's slight blush that came across her face when she spoke of Sirius. It was easy to tell how smitten her friend was by him.
He reminded her of a brother sometimes. Even if he could be a prat. A soft chuckle escaped her lips, nodding when Marlene had the audacity to ask such a rhetorical type of question. "Are you kidding me, Marls? If you can't figure it out, I'm not going to be the one to tell you." It was easy to pinpoint. She could see it in the way that Marlene's eyes lit up whenever she spoke about Sirius or was even thinking of the man. She could only nod when she heard Marlene say about her being right about what the two, Sirius and Marlene, needed. It was easier to talk to Marlene about men than it was for her to speak to her own sister about such things.
She shook her head, as she thought for a moment or two what Marlene had implied. "Why would I bother with dating when all it does is end up in chaos? Or heartbreak? I have enough of that as it is, without it affecting me here." Regardless of the circumstances, the idea of dating was a scary concept. One she did not want to waste time with. That kind of heartbreak was not something she was remotely keen on dealing with. It would be a source of devastation. One she wasn't ready to handle. Or thought she could with ease. "Marls. I am a Prefect, I have studies to attend to, and I have friends that I like to spend time with. Now, if, I want to expand my horizons as you think I should, I will be open to certain things, more so than others." There was a difference between liking someone and imagining spending time romantically with them. Could she really open her mind and heart to that?
The idea of something serious, something real...beyond the capacity of what had already happened between the two in the last four years...scared the hell out of her. She didn't know if she could just trust James let alone date the man without wanting to hex him every second of their interaction. The idea of budging, of allowing herself even that opportunity to agree to move forward with what James always wanted. The two of them together. "I've tried to give the man a chance. More or less. I've not hexed him. Even when he has given me ample of opportunities to step in and do something. I don't know if we could even have some sort of a friendship. Let alone anything more as you've so delicately put it. Truth is, I don't even know what we'd talk about even if we did find a chance to be alone. Given this is Hogwarts, there's no place to really sit down and not be interrupted when you wish to talk. I don't even know if I want that. Even though I know he does." Only a fool would say no to that when they'd been trying for years to get one's attention. How could she trust James enough to agree to a date? Did she want to? Yes the man was good looking, that much she could agree with. But there had to be more to an individual than how one looked. How one acted mattered just as much, maybe even more so.
She knew that Sirius was not exactly a ladies man, although he certainly knew how to talk to them. Something she supposed he had in common with James. "I don't see him that way, obviously. But that was what the rumor is going around. He's a good guy. I wouldn't suggest you try being with him, or trusting him with Tori, if by all means I thought he'd only hurt either one of you." She sighed, shaking her head a little bit. "I try to. I put everything I have into what matters, for my friends, to--do all that I can for my family, my studies. I just, I don't know anything about taking a chance on certain things. The only thing that scares me more than anything is something happening to my parents, my sister....and to my friends. Everything else isn't....important. The idea of dating just--it is terrifying in a certain aspect which is partially why I am opposed to it all. That and the fact the last thing I want is to get hurt. Or hurt someone else." She knew she could. She would stick with her friends--her family, but the idea of taking chances, was a scary thing. Here, inside Hogwarts it was safer, but outside? No, that was something she wasn't ready for. Not in the least, but yet she knew she had to be as sooner or later, it would be on her doorstep. "All I can say, is that if the time comes where I find myself in a situation where I do try for something more than what I have, I'll take a risk. But until then....I'll wait. In this scenario, if he wants to try and reach out, I'm not going to stop him. Or anyone else for that matter. I'd like to say I could trust him as much as you trust Sirius." She wanted to trust James, like Marlene trusted Sirius.
@mckinnon
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