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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2018 3:18:08 GMT
James grinned as Lily spoke and moved a strand of hair that had some how fallen in his face. He kept his hair relatively short. Well at least short than Sirius’ hair anyways. And his hair was always ruffled, like he had just gotten done flying, and no matter what he tried to do it would never lie flat. Which annoyed his mum quite a bit, but she had given up many years ago as his hair was a lost cause. “We all do things sometimes for one reason or another and then try to convince ourselves that it was for a completely different reason.” James had done the same thing many times in his young life.
He had definitely been jealous of course. And was he really that easy to read? Probably, since he wasn’t like Sirius who could school his features in any which way for what he was dealing with at any given point. James could to an extent due to being an occlumens but he just couldn’t help but let his emotions show.
And he she was again talking about how loyalty to one’s own friends. James knew all to well how important that was. And in hindsight and from what she was saying he knew for certain that it was never fair on Snape. At first it had been the whole jealousy bit and then it just evolved from there. How he had no idea but it did. And then a light seemed to go off in his head. “That little bastard.” He mumbled to himself, but he was sure that she had heard it. “I’m not talking about your friend, not I’m talking about the rat. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. But I think that now is not the time to discuss that matter.” James had a feeling that the rat had somehow manipulated him and the others into going after Snape all of the time, especially playing on his dislike for the boy. He had been in the wrong for too long, and maybe it was time to make amends.
He couldn’t help but smile softly as she told him that she had never hated him, and had given him a quick kiss. “I may not understand how you are friends with him, but it is what it is, and there isn’t anything that I can do about it. I know that now.” Being in her presence almost felt like a breath of fresh air one that he never wanted to let go. She was talking to him and putting things straight and clear for him to understand and it made it feel like a fog was disappearing from his mind. James pulled her in for a quick kiss before Lily began speaking once more.
James was floored by what she had just told him. And when she kissed him rather passionately, he could let her down, and returned the kiss just as passionately, if not more so. She may not have said that she loved him but he could tell from her words and actions that she wasn’t far off. But he wasn’t going to push it, and just let things progress at their own pace. “I’m ready to change, have been for a while. I just never really had the reason to do so, at least not before now. And to be completely honest with you I don’t think I was ready either, at least not until now. I know I asked and asked, but after so many times of being turned down I never expected you to actually say yes.” He told her in as honest of a tone as he could muster.
“But like you said there is a connection of sorts and I think that this will be an adventure and that we will have our ups and downs. But we can’t deny what we feel towards one another. And I am ready to go on this adventure with you wherever it may take us. And as I said before I plan on not messing this chance up, ever.” He really wanted to tell her that he loved her but felt that now wasn’t the right time to say it. And with all of that said, James pulled her as close as possible and gave her a deep and passionate kiss, one that he knew would leave them breathless, but so be it.
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Post by Lily J. Evans on Dec 3, 2018 4:57:25 GMT
She knew how James was about his hair, every strand had to be in the perfect position, despite it's ruffles. Though it was always a source of amusement given he looked like he just had come in from some sort of flight. It never had lay flat, but it was cute in its own unique way. Though she could imagine his mum got quite aggravated with it from time to time. She listened to James as he had been standing before her.
She could only nod when he had said what he had about the reason to convince themselves for whatever their main reason was. It was slightly amusing though, knowing that he was so easy to read in any way shape or form. She was quite brilliant in knowing how to shield her thoughts and expose only what she wished to. Loyalty was something that she valued. It was what drew her to James. She liked this man, more than she wished she did. Life could be both a blessing and a curse. She knew that what Severus had been dealt had been a rough hand, though he had always tried to do the things that made him happy. Even if they were in line with the very individuals she couldn't stand. Yet as she stood there, next to the man that loved her. A man deep down that she knew would do anything for her.
She didn't understand what he was talking about. What did the rat have anything to do with any of it? Peter was a weird child, that much she did know, but it could be more than that. "I'm not sure what will happen, but I know, that we can't help what's happened in the past. Even if the rat is more difficult to work with than anyone else." It would make sense how the rat manipulated everyone.
Hate was not something she liked to do. She tried to see the good in him, because that was something that her mother would have suggested she do. And it always worked. Yet, being in his presence was like being in another world. Something she didn't quite grasp as to how that was even possible in the first place. Yes she had kissed him, he'd kissed her and it felt real. It felt perfect. But there was still something that didn't sit right with her. And she couldn't quite pin point what that was.
"I don't expect you to understand my bond with Severus. It's a bond I've had since I was nine. But it doesn't make it any stronger than any other bond I've formed. I mean, our bond is growing. Even if I never anticipated it. You're a good man, James. I know that. I've felt it--seen it. In how you treat others with the exception of Severus. And no, there is nothing you can do about my bond with Severus. But I'm here now, with you, because I want to be, not because I have to be." Being around him, it was like time stood still. Like they were the last two in the entire world. It was something she in a way wanted a release from and yet, knew she never would have that release. She cared too much to just walk away from him. It was like he had a pull over her that she just couldn't find the release to. In all honesty she was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. Yet even if she had wanted to walk away, she couldn't not now.
The quick kiss was something that she had enjoyed more or less. Yes, it was nice for their bond, there was a passionate moment or two. She loved it. Even though she'd never be the one to cop to it. What she felt, was something similar to what she thought love may have been like. But she wasn't ready to just out and say that she loved him as she wasn't even sure what that really meant. Things had to go at their own pace. The amount of passion between the two of them, between each kiss only seemed to get stronger and stronger.
She waited with bated breath as he began to speak once more. "James, I know that change can be scary but you don't need a reason for it. I always follow my instincts, trust my heart. And usually it leads me down the right path. I never in a thousand years expected you to ask me out to begin with. And then when you did, I couldn't do it. Not because I didn't feel something--because I think on some small level I always have, because there's been this kind of pull--a bond, that I can't quite describe with you. It's--just the truth is, I didn't want to say yes. Partially because this is new, and that--that's scary but....there's also the fact that it's hard. Hard because of who I am, what I stand for, and...what I know you want. What we both--do. I've spent, more of my time in this school being mad at you, that I don't really know how else to be. And to--not be mad, is just--it's different. I don't know what the future holds, anymore than I know what the present does. I care for you, you know that. Otherwise I wouldn't...be here now." Saying those three little words, was improbable.
Not because it wasn't exactly how she felt, but because it was. She loved him, perhaps she hadn't wanted to believe that she could. Given what he'd put her best friend through, but she did. Otherwise, what Marlene had said was right. She'd not opened herself up to the probability because in all honesty it was scary. She couldn't not try. She had to give herself--her heart a break. "But in all of this, what I know, is that this connection, is an adventure. It'll have its ups and downs as you've said, but it'll be worth it in due time I do believe. I don't want you to mess up. But, I am prepared for that, in case you do. As I'll have to put you back in line. And we both know how dangerous that can be given the extent of my magical abilities. You may end up in the Hospital wing." Sure it may have sounded like a threat, but in all honesty she couldn't be the one to put the man in a hospital bed. Even if he sometimes deserved that.
There was only so much either of them could take. She wanted him to keep doing the right thing. Not because it wasn't easy but because it was worth it. They were worth it. A smile escaped her lips as she soon found herself being immersed in his kiss. The kiss was the most passionate the two of them had ever had. It seemed like hours before she broke the kiss apart. It had left her feeling like she couldn't even breathe at all. Her heart was racing so fast that she thought it was going to burst right out of her chest. So she chose to put it into words what she felt in only four little words. "I'm with you, always." It was something that her mother would say to her father and it just sort of stuck. It was her mother's way of saying "I love you, and I'm not going anywhere. That I'll always be by your side, no matter what." Whether he would understand what that meant, time would only tell. She wanted to open herself up and utter those words "I love you." Yet she knew that she wasn't ready for it. Was he? Were either of them? She did know that love only made someone stronger, not weaker. That love was the most powerful magic known. Magic that couldn't be described no matter how much one tried.
Looking into his eyes, facing him as she felt her heart nearly fall out of her chest, she anticipated what his next move would be. She knew they couldn't kiss any more passionately than they had before. Not without making either of them pass out on the other. All she needed was to see his smile, hear his laughter, and all would be right in the world. Yet saying she was in love with the man was terrifying on several levels. How could she ultimately say that she loved him when in all honesty he still was a prankster, that had targeted her best friend of five years? Could she just push that little aspect aside? She had to.
She knew with her whole heart that Severus would never understand what she would see in James, or why she chose to go out with the man. Yet she knew it would also throw the man off guard knowing that she had agreed to date him or at least to see where things went. She had to let herself accept this. To accept the love that James gave her. She kept herself close to this man, as it was impossible to physically get any closer than they were at that very moment. "It's funny, you know. You're a troublemaker and I'm a good girl yet here we are. Drawn to each other, in every which way. Some would say you're what I want, and I'm what you need. Just promise me one thing. That you're not going to change for me. That you change because it's something you want. To be the kind of man you know you are meant to be. You've already got me. I'm not going anywhere. Just--it's like my father would say, don't give me a reason to leave." She said, with one hand raised up to his face, and the other holding his hand. Her eyes had not left his since their kiss broke apart. All she wanted was for him to simply tell her what he felt. What he wanted. What he desired. They were going to be dating, which meant on some level there were feelings that should be expressed. But she couldn't be the one to tell him first. He had to be the one to say it. As right then and there, she was too worried to say so. As there were complications made because of her feelings towards her best friend and for James. Both on two completely different levels. As what she felt for each of them were far different. Yet neither one she could barely imagine living without. They'd just have to learn, for her sake, to get along. Or at the very least not hurt each other. If that was even a probability, she wasn't sure.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2018 1:43:08 GMT
James was glad that she didn’t expect him to understand her bond with Snape, but he had a feeling that it was somewhat similar to his bond with Sirius and Remus. The least that he could do was respect that bond no matter how difficult that it would be, at least for her sake, and also because in truth he was tired of going after Snape. Sure, he’d still pull pranks but nothing that would harm others in a permanent manner, or even then he’d make sure that they didn’t harm anyone in any manner, but that they would bring joy to people. It was something that he would work on changing, about himself. And now here she was telling him that he was a good person despite his flaws, and all of the things that he had done to her friend. And he was extremely grateful for that. “I’m glad that you want to be here. And I will never make nor force you to do anything that you don’t want.” He said in a serious tone, as he meant what he said. Hell, he wouldn’t force anyone to do anything especially her. “I’m glad that you want to be here.” He said before smirking before he pulled her in for another kiss.
She cared for him, and that meant the world to him. James couldn’t believe his luck that she actually cared for him. And she had a point, they really just had to live in the moment and take whatever life threw at them. Life wasn’t all sunshine and daises, but they’d get through it. “I’ll do everything that I can not to mess up, as I really don’t want to lose you.” He couldn’t screw up and he really didn’t fancy another trip to the hospital wing, hell he spent quite some time there due to quidditch related injuries and other things. “I’m sure I’ll need to be put back in line as you say, but I hope….” Did he dare say it? Even the thought of doing something to push her away was sickening to him.
Did she really say that? He grinned and then he picked her up a little bit and spun her around and when he set her back down, he kissed her, when she did. “And I’ll always be with you.” Of course, he didn’t know the meaning those words meant for her, but saying them and not ‘I love you’ felt right. Maybe it was something that would become their thing that they said to each other, as he felt that it was somehow meaningful. Especially since he knew they had a way to go before he could say those words, and he was sure that she was in the same boat.
James stood there with Lily in his arms taking the time to listen to her and what she said. He processed everything that she said and he laughed a little as it was a little cliché to here what they had but in terms like that. “Quite the pair we make then.” He said with a grin. It was obvious that they were definitely drawn to each other in every way possible. “I promise that it won’t be for you. I’ll change because it is what I want and thank you for helping me figure that out. And I promise I’ll never give you a reason to leave. Because I couldn’t bear it if you left me. I know we haven’t really spent much time together in the past, except for when there are a bunch of people around and so I was never able to tell you just how much I care for you. And it pains me that I have caused you pain because of what I’ve done to Snape. It is something that I hope I never do again. I also never realized how much I actually care for you.” At the moment he couldn’t say it yet but maybe it would happen sooner rather than later. Maybe his mom was right and that if he ever found the one for him it would be a sort of whirlwind romance and that it would probably happen faster than what it seemed. And maybe she was exactly right, just looking back on this simple chance to actually talk to Lily, and now they were already talking about their future, and it seemed that they couldn’t see it unless the other was there. “I know we aren’t ready to say those words yet, but I just want to emphasize the point that I really do care for you and there is absolutely nothing that can change that. Ever.”
James had an idea and figured he’d ask her. “Have you ever seen Hogwarts at sunset?” He had the idea to show her the school during sunset from the air or from one of the mountains on the east side of the valley that overlooked the lake and castle. It was something he had done several times. And James was sure that Lily would love to see it. He smiled a little as he waited for her answer to his question.
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Post by Lily J. Evans on Dec 15, 2018 3:20:13 GMT
Asking James to understand what her bond with Severus was like, would be like talking to a wall. The two were so vastly different. And yet, in a lot of ways she couldn't imagine her life without either in it. Something of which that she never in a thousand years ever would have copped to, before this very moment. Still she hoped that James could respect the bond, even if he didn't quite understand it. She didn't want James to go after Severus because quite frankly her best friend didn't always deserve it and on top if it all, it was quite frustrating to try and intervene on his behalf. Not that Severus couldn't handle himself but she didn't like the odds, four against one or two against one. Either way, didn't sit well with her. She could handle the pranks, to a certain extent. She understood how one could get joy from it. Though she did not see it the way that James did. But she had to admit that on one or more occasions some of his and his mates' pranks had been quite humorous. Though she'd kept that little tidbit to herself. She couldn't accept a prank as being something that would intentionally harm someone and not be something that others would see joy in.
It wasn't easy to open up and reveal that she saw the good in him, but she felt it had to be done. He needed a good confidence boost that didn't come from pranks. She couldn't help but chuckle lightly when he began to speak for the first time after listening to her speech. Yet the moment their lips met for a moment she was almost speechless. "I believe you." There was a difference in believing she cared for him than believing in that she loved him. Could it be the same thing? Did it mean the same thing? Perhaps. It was true that life was precious, that no one knew when it would end. If it did, would it be a life worth living? Life wasn't always easy to interpret. As long as they had their friends, and perhaps even each other, all would be well. Her hand raised to his face, holding it there for a moment before leaning on his shoulder. It did not last long as soon she'd face him again. Her arms wrapped around him. Holding him close to her. Whom would have thought that at fifteen she'd have a guy that not only was interested in her but didn't want to lose her? Did she want to lose him? No.
She knew that her threat of sending him to the hospital wing wasn't exactly enticing give how many times that man had ended up there, either due to a prank or to Quidditch. Her lips reached up to his. She let them linger more than they had before. Yet it seemed as though each time their lips met, there was more passion, perhaps even hunger behind it. Once the kiss ended once more she looked into his eyes. Never noticing before how bright his eyes were when he talked about the things he loved. His friends, Quidditch, flying, and even her. Clearing her throat she kept her eyes locked on his. "And you won't. So long as you do the right thing, even if it isn't always easy. I'm not going anywhere. I promise you that. I care too much about you to hurt you."
Making those kinds of promises weren't easy. How could she keep that promise? She wasn't sure. Still the moment that he'd kissed her, as he'd picked her up and swung her around, she almost felt a tad bit dizzy once her feet were finally back on the ground. She could only nod when he'd as much said that he'd always be with her. She knew she ought to explain what the words meant. "I'm glad to hear it. I suppose I should mention where that comes from. See, my parents would say it to each other "I'm with you, always." Father always knew they were meant to be. Even when my mother didn't. He never gave up hope. Always trusted that somehow, some way that they'd be led to each other. And when my parents were forced to separate in their early years, it was the thing that my father told my mother, that stuck with her. Until many years later when they found each other again and at that point they weren't willing to let each other go. They say that, distance makes the heart grow fonder. That's how mother described it. She didn't know how she felt about my father--until they were forced apart. But by then it had been too late. When they--finally reconnected before my father could even say a word to her, she told him "I'm with you, always." It sort of became their "I love you" to one another. They used that, in their vows to one another. That no matter how bad things got, that they'd never let anything or anyone get in the way of their feelings for one another. 'Course, they didn't have quite the same obstacles as what we've got." Her parents had met as young children, and had been young adults when they'd reconnected.
It was a meaningful expression that she didn't give lightly. She'd never repeated it before, to anyone else. He was the first. Though Severus had heard her parents say it on numerous times he was at the house but it wasn't ever directed at him. She knew what she felt in the deepest part of her heart. She loved him. On some level she always had but now, that the truth was coming out, it was scary. It was strange, standing there in his arms. Him holding onto her as though he never wanted to let her go, and her just willingly staying put. "Yes, but a good pair." She replied with a mischievous grin. Why was it she was so drawn to him? He was no different than any other guy. They all had the same parts, so what was it that made James Potter so special ? Had she lost complete control of her faculties?
Merlin she hoped not. She listened how he'd not change for her but for himself which was what she'd wanted truthfully. Even if she was a way to inspire that change. That would be nice. Her heart was racing as she stood there, gazing once more into his bright eyes, that seemed electrifying. "I make you this promise. That I will stand by you, no matter how aggravating you are. And I know that none of this makes a whole lot of sense. I never thought I'd find myself in a situation like this. But, I never in a million years would have suspected that at fifteen we'd be in this situation now. Kissing and being close. I'm so used to hexing you that it's instinct for me to grab my wand every chance you're in front of me. I can't say that it'll be easy. Or that I won't want to hex you at one point or another, but, that being said, I've never left someone I cared for. There's just something about you that I can't quite shake. You've got this certain power over me that I can't quite pinpoint. And I know it's ridiculous because we've not spent hardly any time with it just being us two. Because every time we've been around each other previously I'm hexing your arse or attempting to because of what you've done to Severus. And in turn what that's caused me." She paused momentarily. Knowing where she was headed with this.
"I've seen the pain in his eyes. I've seen the worst of the worst. Watching Severus be in that pain, of being teamed up against, it hurt. And that pain was something that I couldn't erase. You never really know what you've got until--it's taken from you. Losing the joy--seeing that spark die, is one of the hardest things I've ever seen. Mother once said, that when you find the one you're meant for, that nothing not even time will be able to hinder it. That sometimes that love will come from the unlikeliest places--the unlikeliest of souls. You can't erase what you've done, I know that. All you can do is build upon what you already have--the foundation, as without that, any relationship will crumble. Doesn't matter how long you've known them. Love is a bit of a tricky thing as she's always said. Comes in the strangest of ways. Always when you least expect it. And never when you're looking for it. It's always when you least suspect it that it actually will blossom. I never realized how much I cared for you either. Until now. There is very little that will cause me to change what I'm thinking--what I feel towards you." She was being honest. This could be the start of something quite intense. Something new.
Then James posed a question in which she could honestly say she'd never done. Because it was as close to breaking a school rule as she'd ever gotten. It was true she was a Prefect, but how in the name of Merlin could she be okay with the fact that James would be yet again breaking another school rule? Even if it was a silly one. "I can't say that I have....on either account. I don't usually find myself outside during the sunset. Only once though I was on top of the astronomy tower. Checking on my rounds you know, since I am a Prefect." She grinned, though truth be told she'd be happy doing anything and everything with him. Didn't matter what it was. No matter what happened next, she would do what her heart told her. The man she loved, the man she fought tooth and nail with was standing before her, with his arms wrapped around her. She felt at peace. At home home in the world for the first time in a long time.
She did notice that his smile was infectious. Anytime he smiled she felt herself smiling in return as it were. She kissed him again. This time more intense if that were even possible. Her hands lingering on the edge of his shirt. And for a few precious moments her hands went under his shirt, pulling him close to her, as she wanted the kiss to continue and to see what would happen next between them. Truth be told she was curious as to what James would do now that he had her all alone, or where he'd want this to go tonight. There wasn't much she knew he'd not try. But she couldn't say that she'd turn him down if he were to try to liven things up a bit more than they already had been.
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